Normally Swimwatch is all about swimming. Occasionally though some events occur that are so at odds with the truth they need to be exposed even on a sports blog. A few weeks ago, I was driving from the Owen Glenn Pool to the North Shore Hospital. The radio was tuned to Newstalk ZB. At that time in the morning Kerre Woodham is the intellectual genius Newstalk ZB has found to front their talkback. This particular morning, she was all worked up about health insurance.

The airwaves were positively buzzing with right wing bigotry. No one in New Zealand could trust a Labour led health service to provide competent health care. Operations were late, patients were dying, the sick were sleeping in hospital corridors and visiting an A&E Department always meant waiting three hours for attention. Kerre’s sheep responded to her provocation with unbridled passion.

“My son’s twisted ankle.”

“My daughter’s dislocated thumb.”

Horror story after horror story spewed across New Zealand. Clearly Dr. Ashley Bloomfield and Jacinda Ardern would be better suited to running an AFFCO meat plant. The only answer was to pay insurance and go private. Everything was better. Go in with a broken leg. Come out ready to run the New York marathon. One caller even suggested New Zealand medical schools adjusted their training depending on whether a student had private or public medicine as their goal.

“If you want the best, you have to pay for it.”

All that stuff is so bad it really should not be allowed. I know free speech is a cornerstone of our way of life. Even Kerre Woodham and the morons who follow her are entitled to say what they like. I was brought up to believe that I could disagree with what was being said but defend to the death the right to say it. But really did that apply to airheads like Woodham tearing down an institution as important and well run as the New Zealand national health service?

I think I can claim to be pretty experienced in the ways of the public health service. At a minimum I visit North Shore Hospital’s Apollo Drive Clinic three times a week for five hours of treatment each time. In addition, I have had several one-off visits to emergency care. One of those was yesterday afternoon at Waitakere Hospital. For Kerre Woodham’s education, Waitakere is part of the national public health service she cares to abuse. My problem was a nosebleed that wouldn’t stop bleeding. Here is a timeline of my treatment.

So, there you go – six hours sounds like a long time, but for the doctor and the nurse responsible for my care I felt every attention was being made to my care and well-being. Alison and I were brought an egg sandwich and offered a cup of tea around 6.00pm. During the waiting periods the nurse checked that all was well on several occasions and provided me with a blanket because she thought it was getting cold. And it was all done for free – not a cash register in sight.

I guess Kerre Woodham would sarcastically say, “I’m so pleased you had a good experience.”

Yes, I did Kerre. In fact, I have the same “good experience” three times a week, every week. So back off the right-wing abuse. And thank our lucky stars we can receive treatment for free that in her wonderful reactionary world would be costing in excess of $NZ100,000. I can’t shut you up. But I can say you do not deserve to live here.  

Previous Swimwatch posts have discussed the Mare Nostrum series of swim meets. This year a team of New Zealand swimmers has been picked to take part in the best swimming trip they will ever have. Eyad is swimming as well. Barcelona, Canet and Monaco – how does any swim trip top that? Now I have nothing against the Moana Pool in Dunedin. In fact, it is a lovely place to swim. The Kilbirnie Pool in Wellington is impressive. Even Auckland’s Owen Glenn Pool is fast and welcoming. But seriously, compared to Barcelona, Canet and Monaco? Not really.

I’ve “done” Mare Nostrum seven times with swimmers from New Zealand, the US Virgin Islands and the United States. As I have said, the circuit is fantastic, but which of the three stops is best?

Monaco, perhaps? It certainly is everything you would expect from a royal city. The car service shop next to the pool is stunning. Lamborghini, Maserati, Bugatti, Rolls Royce – if one of those is not your means of transport, I suspect this garage is not for you. Prince Albert II and his wife, South African Olympic swimmer, Charlene, Princess of Monaco attend the last night of finals. Charlene, Princess of Monaco was a pretty good backstroke swimmer – 5^th in the 2000 Olympic Games, her best times were 1.02.42 for 100m and 2.14.95 for 200m. Both good enough for third in this year’s NZ Championships. Albert and Charlene met when she was swimming in the year 2000 Mare Nostrum series. Who knows what the New Zealand swimmers might find in 2022?   

There is one story that says all you need to know about Monaco. I was having lunch on our hotel balcony overlooking the Monaco harbour. I noticed workers replacing a huge gold letter M in the name of a super yacht.  I asked the hotel waiter if he knew what had happened. The boat was owned by a member of a middle east royal family. During a rough trip across the Atlantic the letter M had been torn off. It was being replaced. According to my waiter the letters were real gold. Each letter cost $1million. So, if you’re looking for a million dollars, somewhere between the Caribbean and Monaco there is a letter M at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

Sadly, the most disappointing feature of the Monaco stop is the pool. The roof is way too low. The stadium feels cramped – a touch airless and sweaty. Not at all like the splendour one expects in the royal kingdom.

But what about Barcelona? Truly one of the world’s great tourist cities. Grant Dalton didn’t choose Barcelona to host the next America’s Cup for no reason. Diverse, historic, interesting, cultural and sporting (go Barcelona FC), Barcelona is an amazing place. And this time the pool does not disappoint. It is deep and fast. It is not, as many would expect, the pool built for the 1992 Olympic Games but is instead a private club oasis in the middle of busy north Barcelona. The best way to get to it from the hotel is on the underground. The pool has a huge sliding roof that closes in bad weather. The warm down pool can get a bit cramped. It is outside and is a small 20m learner’s pool. But if it’s good enough for Popov and Ranomi Kromowidjojo the New Zealand swimmers should manage. Don’t leave Barcelona without a lunch salad (and if you’re old enough and ask Amanda first) a glass of Alella wine in one of the famous La Ramblas street cafes. You will leave truly international, having sampled the personal favourite wine of the Court of the Kings of Aragon.

And then there is Canet. Monaco has its money. Barcelona has its history. But Canet is my favourite. While international tourists go to Monaco and Barcelona, the domestic French holiday maker goes to Canet. The town, the pool and the Roussillon region are fantastic. The town is small (population 12,000). But what it lacks in size it more than makes up in character. It is just so incredibly French.

Old men playing boules in dusty parks, 100 beach side cafes, miles of white beach sand, bakeries selling all sorts of French bread, tourists setting up for a day at the beach, jet skis for hire – whether you want to be active or spend the day playing being French, Canet is the place for you.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time in Canet. I stayed at the incredible Clos de Pines Hotel for a month during the Barcelona Olympic Games and have made 7 Mare Nostrum visits. I have never been disappointed. The pool is outdoors, but who cares? It is deep and fast. Besides, it’s always warm in Canet. A lady called Stephanie Bonnet might not be the pool CEO but she runs the place. Her welcome is always open and friendly. Please say hello to her for me.

What can I recommend you do in Canet? The hotel breakfasts are always special, but it is hard to beat an early walk along the beachfront to a bakery-café for breakfast. A welcome, “Bonjour”, the warmth from the sun coming up across the Mediterranean, crisp French bread, jam, cheese and hot, strong French coffee – no wonder the French produced swimmers like Camille Muffat, Alain Bernard, Florent Manaudou, Frédérick Bousquet, Yannick Agnel and Laure Manaudou. Any training is possible with a breakfast like that to look forward to.

And so, I hope the New Zealand team enjoy Mare Nostrum 2022. It is a trip I doubt you will forget. God speed.

I’ve been fortunate enough to travel with swimmers to several swim meet series. For years the FINA World Cups were the best known. I attended close to 100 World Cup meets in Sydney, Hobart, Hong Kong, Moscow, Malmo, Glasgow, Paris, Majorca, Gelsenkirchen, Berlin, Imperia, Stockholm, and New York. There were some special moments.

Michael Klim swimming out to an island built in the Sydney Olympic Pool to claim his new Toyota car after breaking the 100m butterfly world record. Swimming in an outdoor pool surrounded by deep snow in Malmo. The spectacular light shows also in Malmo. The history of the Paris pool. Many years ago, they heated the water with open fires under the 50m pool. 13-year-old Jane making the final of the women’s 50m breaststroke and being handed a bouquet of flowers by Alexander Popov for her efforts. Toni winning a bronze medal in the World Cup finals 50m freestyle in Majorca. The new underground pool, below a Berlin Park, in what had been East Germany. The awesome communist grandeur of the Moscow Olympic Pool.

The American’s have their own tour. The Pro Swim Series was formally known as the Speedo Grand Prix. It is usually 7 meets. Like American restaurants the meets tend to be a bit pre-packaged. All the same, all very formal and not much in the way of glitz and glamour. But also like their restaurants you can trust the quality of their produce. I’ve seen several world records. Michael Phelps 200m fly world record, in his training suit and unshaven in Missouri was memorable. That was also the meet where the cashier in the café across the road from our hotel thought Michael was paying for my breakfast as well as his own. I ran after him to explain that he had paid for me by mistake. He laughed and said, “Don’t worry. You’re Rhi’s (Jeffrey) coach. I’m happy to help out.” A story typical of the man. I should add that Rhi and Michael were best of mates.

But the top tour by far is Mare Nostrum. Mare Nostrum is an annual series of three swim meets around the Mediterranean. The meets are always held in Barcelona Spain, Canet France and Monaco. Until 2005 a meet in Rome was also included. I’ve “done” the tour seven times with swimmers from New Zealand, the US Virgin Islands and the United States.

For being looked after and for the genuine warmth of their welcome Mare Nostrum is without peer. I’ve done the tour, by bus, train, airplane and hired car. I’ve stayed in camping grounds and five-star Monaco hotels. Not once have I been disappointed. The camping ground was fantastic – drinking French beer, watching the French Open Tennis Final with the locals, and testing my school-boy French to the limit. The Monaco hotels were what you would expect. Believe me the breakfasts were to die for. Where else in the world can you eat crayfish and caviar for breakfast, before a swim meet. And for the coach a small glass of champagne to begin a hard day at the pool. Not to mention sharing a table with Jenson Button, the Great Britain Grand Prix driver. Mind you, talking about breakfasts, nothing beats a small French café on the waterfront in Canet. Croissants, jam, cream, cooked meats, eggs and dark black coffee watching the sunrise far over the Mediterranean as elderly French tourists wander across the beach for their morning swim. It is a hard life – this swim coaching.

But perhaps there is one story that explains best the difference between Mare Nostrum swimming and New Zealand. As each team arrives at the Canet Pool the Manager is required to go upstairs to the office where Stéphanie Bonnet provides the meet documentation. But in Canet, meet documentation, includes a carved wooden box with four bottles of fine local wine. Tell me another swim meet anywhere in the world where wine accompanies your meet entries? Civilised is what that is. Perhaps SNZ could consider a box of Waiheke Island produce for each team at this years Short Course Nationals. 2023 entries would be through the roof. The standard of swimming at the Canet meet has always been high. Perhaps the benefits of wine are greater than we know.

Anyway, this year Eyad is on his way to Mare Nostrum. I hope he swims well. I know he will have a good time. And who knows as the sole refugee team swimmer he may have four bottles of French wine all to himself. If he has trouble with his French present, there will be a very grateful coach in New Zealand waiting to help him out.  

I think it is important to discuss more deeply a danger to swimming in New Zealand mentioned in a previous Swimwatch post. Here is what the previous post said.

But beware, there is danger in the Owen Glenn waters. As swimming improves, and it will, Sport NZ will come knocking again with a carpetbag stuffed with money. They will be offering to buy their way back into the sport. The price will be a return to centralised training. Do not sell them the sport again. Sport NZ’s thirty pieces of silver cost swimming dearly. SNZ was Judas Iscariot once. Do not make the same mistake a second time.

The recent National Championships have shown how important those 80 words are to New Zealand swimming’s future. Swimming New Zealand (SNZ) went through a period where it was the poster child of Sport NZ’s policy of centralised training. Money was thrown around like confetti and a succession of foreign coaches and administrators were imported. The only way to get a job in SNZ’s centralised programme was through international arrivals at Auckland airport.

The problem was, at an Olympic Games, New Zealand swimmers couldn’t win anything. The idea that one perfect foreign coach could be found to nurture the talent of every good swimmer was clearly absurd. Someone perfect for coaching Lauren Boyle might not work for Daniel Hunter or Glenn Snyders. Even New Zealand’s best swimmer in recent years, Lauren Boyle, honed her trade in an American University. Centralised coaching is fundamentally flawed.

But worse than the failure of swimmers in SNZ’s centralised program was the destruction it caused coaches and clubs in the rest of the country. A SNZ CEO, Australian Christian Renford, went around New Zealand and announced that coaches were well behind international standard. Coaches and clubs in New Zealand were ignored while SNZ poured $25million into the Millennium Pool. Private, independent, club coaching became a wasteland.

However, Sport NZ hates losing. SNZ was making Sport NZ’s centralised policy look bad. And there is no loyalty when Sport NZ looks bad. Make Raylene Castle look good, or the money will stop. And sure enough it did. In 2014 Sport NZ paid SNZ for the centralised training program, $2,207,375. By 2021 that funding had fallen off a cliff to $829,500 – a drop of 62%. Seems like Raelene Castle’s ego is worth about $1.4million a year. I sure wouldn’t want to be lost in the bush on a dark, wet night with Sport NZ. When the tough get going Sport NZ are out of there. They walk away from everything that’s good about sport. They are an example to no one.  

SNZ had no option but to close its centralised programme and turn over responsibility for coaching to those it had ignored for 20 years, clubs and their coaches. And in 2 years, this week’s national championships have shown clubs and their coaches have responded in heaps. A corner has been turned. Spring is on its way.

The table below shows where the champions were coached. And this ignores the fine swimmers who swam in finals but did not win. There are other champions to come. However, even now 10 clubs from Coast in the north to Neptune in the south have produced national champions. New Zealand hasn’t seen depth like that in 20 years. The times are fast as well. Three men under 23sec in the 50m free. When was the last time that was done? Two men under 50sec in the 100m. Fairweather 4.04 and 1.57 – wow. And all coached by New Zealand coaches in New Zealand club programmes. And it all cost $1.4million a year less than when the results were not nearly as good.

But beware Sport NZ will not have missed the change in swimming’s fortunes. They will have noticed the prospect that Clarke, Gray, Follows, Clareburt, O’Connor, Thomas, Gasson, Ouwehand, Dell, Gilbert, Fairweather, Deans. McCarthy, Godwin and Littlejohn are leading a swimming revival. And Sport NZ and its leader are not known for missing the chance to muscle in on a photo-shoot. Sport NZ were responsible for the collapse of swimming. They will not miss out on the recovery.

And so SNZ, when Sport NZ comes knocking on your door with their cheque book open, please, please, please remember those responsible for the change – for the beginnings of the good times. New Zealand coaches, clubs and swimmers turned this sport around, when Raelene Castle and Sport NZ left it struggling for breath.

Take Sport NZ’s money by all means but make sure it goes to those who got swimming out of the mess it was in. On that dark, wet night, lost in the bush, someone stood up and got us home. Coaches, clubs and swimmers did that and deserve the credit. SNZ, do not abandon them like your organisation and Sport NZ did once before.  

Twenty-two years ago, Jan Cameron convinced Swimming New Zealand (SNZ) to begin a disastrous experiment into centralised training. For twenty years appalling management, led by Bruce Cotterill, spent money like drunken sailors. $25million was thrown into employing foreign coaches and administrators. Australia, the USA, Great Britain, China and Spain – we had them all. A disgusting, them and us, culture became characteristic of the sport. Special stages were built at the National Championships for “centralised” swimmers to sit above the provincial masses. Team meetings excluded Commonwealth Games medallists, not in the centralised fold. It was a dark, dark time in New Zealand swimming. Cotterill and Cameron turned the sport into a wasteland. New Zealand coaches were abused or ignored. New Zealand swimmers went to six Olympic Games and returned with nothing. Cotterill and Cameron, in my opinion, spent twenty-five million dollars and in return –  

“He who was now living is now dead

We who were living are now dying”

SNZ was told. Repeatedly Swimwatch pleaded for those in power to understand their futility and waste. And all we got in return was abuse. It was a nightmare, a hole that had no bottom. There would be no end. The sport was lost to a pinstripe suit and an overpriced leather briefcase with a label.

But then Cameron died and Cotterill left. Nick Tongue, Steve Johns and Gary Francis took their place. Two years ago, the new team announced that centralised training would end. We could argue all night about whether their decision was based on principle or lack of money. However, the reason does not really matter. The destruction was about to stop.

Swimwatch said repairing the damage would take time. Lydiard thought about five years. I agreed with that. Repairing Cotterill’s wasteland was not a five-minute fix. And do you know what, we were both wrong, so very wrong. You see the New Zealand Swimming Championships have been held this week. Swimming is on the way back.

Good signs abound. The times are good. Eight FINA A times in the finals. The swimmers are an interesting mix of the “old” and the “new”, forever unsullied by the disaster of their sport’s recent history. Winners come from all over the country and one from Australia.  Ten clubs are represented by winners in the finals. With the exception of one, the winners are all products of domestic programmes. They swim faster in finals than in the heats. And the competition is close behind. Three male swimmers under 23sec in the 50m. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Even a really good swimmer like Fairweather has a Neptune teammate close behind. New Zealand swimming is no longer Lauren Boyle on her own. Quality and depth are on their way. Swimming has a long way to go, but as sure as can be, it is getting there. And getting there faster than I thought.

And ’tis my faith that every flower

Enjoys the air it breathes.

And so, Tongue, Johns and Francis have turned the sport around. They have provided space and opportunity for New Zealand coaches and swimmers to grow. Competition in sport works. And guess what, as long as SNZ stays away from that autocratic centralised control, it looks like New Zealand coaches and swimmers know what they are doing and are going to do a pretty good job of getting a result. No matter how long the winter, spring has followed.

But beware, there is danger in the Owen Glenn waters. As swimming improves, and it will, Sport NZ will come knocking again with a carpetbag stuffed with money. They will be offering to buy their way back into the sport. The price will be a return to centralised training. Do not sell them the sport again. Sport NZ’s thirty pieces of silver cost swimming dearly. SNZ was Judas Iscariot once. Do not make the same mistake a second time.     

The table below shows the winner of each event, their club and the time they swam.