By David

Most readers will be aware of this line from the old English nursery rhyme. Watching a news item on TV3 reminded me of its last two lines. You know the ones, “A-tishoo! A-tishoo! We all fall down.” I wonder how many young New Zealanders are going to fall down before the flaws of Miskimmin’s centralist policy are identified and the whole thing is scrapped. Certainly the mortality rate will be high. Swimming has been committed to the Miskimmin socialist ideal for over a decade. Jan Cameron was a Miskimmin disciple. She built a centralist swimming empire at the Millennium Institute in Auckland and stocked it with New Zealand’s best swimmers.

Really good swimmers, capable of winning Olympic medals were persuaded that elite sport was best delivered by Miskimmin’s socialist model. One after another they lined up, committed to the jargon of the “best training with the best”. One after another they failed to realize their potential. One after another A-tishoo! A-tishoo! They all fell down.

I have no difficulty believing that many of the men and women who committed themselves to Miskimmin’s central training empire at the Millennium Institute were capable of Olympic medals; men and women like Hayley Palmer, Moss Burmester, Helen Norfolk, Hannah McLean, Alison Fitch, Jolie Workman, Melissa Ingram, Corney Swanepoel, Emily Thomas and Daniel Bell. But, as we know, it never happened. All those lives, all that talent, all that effort, so much pain, so much commitment, so many dreams and not one Olympic medal, nothing, nada, nil.

Whose fault was that? Please don’t tell me the athletes just weren’t up to the task. Those ten men and women gave Sport New Zealand and Swimming New Zealand their all; their swimming lives. They had what it took to be Olympic medallists. They were let down by the system. They were sold a method of centralised preparation and it let them down. Their only error was believing the state’s propaganda. For that they paid with their sporting lives.

Of course the bureaucrats who promote centralised training facilities are not about to admit that their policy is wrong. In the case of New Zealand swimming there had to be a scapegoat. There had to be someone to blame. Sport New Zealand’s Millennium Institute was perfect. It’s just that the buggers working it didn’t know what they were doing. And so the system discarded, Jan Cameron, her son Scot, Mark Regan, Murray Coulter and Mike Byrne; those clearly guilty of mismanaging Sport New Zealand’s flawless medal winning concept.

In their place Sport New Zealand organized the appointment of Brent Layton, Christian Renford, Luis Villanueva, David Lyles and Gary Hurring. And that’s where we are today. Same vehicle – new drivers. And Miskimmin expects a different result. Miskimmin doesn’t realize or refuses to accept that the drivers are not the problem. Miskimmins car, the Millennium Institute, does not bloody well work; never has, never will. In elite sport the initiative of private enterprise will always out perform a socialist, centralized empire. Just ask Valerie Adams and Rafael Nadal.

It will take time but eventually government ministers will understand that truth; will recognize the bottomless, futile pit into which they have poured millions. Miskimmin will be no more. Until then though he will continue to spread his flawed ideology.

Which brings me back to the TV3 news item. In it TV3 reports that Triathlon New Zealand has swallowed the socialist dream. They have relocated triathlon’s training and administration to a cycling velodrome built just outside Hamilton in the village of Cambridge.

It is just plain scary how “swimming like” the triathlon people sound in their admiration for Miskimmin’s wisdom – and his money. Here is what I mean.

Ryan Sissons, Triathlete, “One of the things that came out of it – I needed a good group of people to train with.”

TV3, Kimberlee Downs, “It’s hoped having the elite team together will see improved results.”

Graeme Maw, Tri NZ High Performance Director, “We were 0.28% really off our targets.”

Graeme Maw, Tri NZ High Performance Director, “Things like centralization, getting athletes and coaches concentrated together really bringing that intensity of expertise, is probably our step forward.”

TV3, Kimberlee Downs, “This room is Triathlon New Zealand’s High Performance office. The athletes themselves will be based just downstairs.”

TV3, Kimberlee Downs, “Much of the focus is on the 2020 Olympics with the Development Team all in Cambridge full time.”

TV3, Kimberlee Downs, “With speed rather than endurance playing an increasingly important role.”

TV3, Kimberlee Downs, “Triathlon New Zealand’s High Performance sport funding is only guaranteed until the end of next year.”

And there you have it. New Zealand’s best male triathlete has been brainwashed into thinking he can’t train on his own. The High Performance Director talks in mathematical riddles so loved in Wellington but that Lydiard, Jelley and Schubert would never understand. The High Performance Director has rehearsed his centralization speech to perfection. Peter will be pleased. The boys are singing his song. The sport’s administration is located right alongside the athletes, watching, controlling and monitoring any rebellious young souls. There will be no John McEnroe antics in the Cambridge animal farm. And the sport’s dream is not in Rio any more. Miskimmin does not want to be judged in three years. Jam in seven years is a much better deal. Oh, and at a modern facility such as this they don’t believe all that distance training rubbish promoted by Lydiard, Jelley, Schubert, Salazar, Bowman and Pellerin. Today it’s all about training smarter. It’s all about speed. And finally, the Miskimmin standard threat of no more money. All you guys in Cambridge had better make Miskimmin’s sporting socialism work. If you want the good life to continue, remember what happened to swimming’s Byrne and Cameron, you need to make the boss of Sport New Zealand look good.

Just as private enterprise in swimming gave us five Olympic medals and four world records from Moss, Simcic, Kingsman and Loader, triathlon is a young sport that has already nurtured independent, private enterprise champions such as Hamish Carter, Bevan Docherty and Erin Baker.

But now swimming people will find the Cambridge plans of Triathlon New Zealand eerily familiar. Because it is familiar. Miskimmin has in all probability just committed Triathlon to the same future as swimming’s recent past. It’s called failure.