Nothing could be designed to make Raelene Castle’s Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service look pathetic and ineffectual than the Novak Djokovic visa problem in Australia. Stuff, the NZ Herald and Newshub are full of two main items of sport’s news. First is Djokovic, and second is Castle’s Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service.

Understandably thousands of news and opinion words are being written on Djokovic. It is off the subject of this post but in my opinion, Australia is handling the problem very well. They are giving Djokovic his day in court. That’s fair. As long as the end result sees us all waving at the Emirate’s flight, with Djokovic on board, leaving Australia next Tuesday. Normally I disagree with Australia’s Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, on almost everything. I’m pretty sure he has only done the right thing on this occasion because the Australian elections are in four months. However, whatever the motive, he is right. The rules are the rules. And an arrogant piece of work like Djokovic needs to learn to obey them. Nadal said the obvious, “Two vaccines and a work visa and you can play anywhere”. Djokovic decided he was above that. Hopefully he is above that looking down on Australia as he is carted back home.

But back to the serious issue here. Whatever the mainstream New Zealand media are writing about Djokovic, there is Raelene advertising her Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service. I promise this is true. Yesterday there was an article in the NZ Herald on the Scott Morrison’s Djokovic press conference. Surrounding these deep and weighty matters were SIX Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service advertisements.

It is another ridiculous pilot fish and whale moment. Their proximity highlights the juvenile, pathetic and fake futility of Castle’s so-called service. When a real judicial problem comes along Djokovic goes to court. When I had a sporting problem, I did the same thing. In my case I used the Privacy Commissioner and the Human Rights Review Tribunal. In either case the thought of using Castle’s Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service was beyond useless. You would find more justice in Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

I am, of course, ignoring the distinction that Djokovic’s case is in Australia and the Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service is in New Zealand. Lack of jurisdiction however in no way alters the validity of the comparison between a real judicial problem and the futility of Castle’s agency to do anything about it, should they have both been in the same country. Asking for Castle’s help in a case like mine or Djokovic’s is like asking a five-year-old to do a critical appraisal of King Lear.

The reason the Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service is totally ineffectual at resolving anything approaching a serious issue is written right there on every advertisement. Castle’s folly was never equipped to solve my case or the Djokovic case any more than it could have handled the Podmore tragedy or the Thompson injustice. For example, here is what it says about itself:

Each team member is completely impartial and does not take sides in the dispute.

The one thing all our cases need is for someone to take sides – to make a decision. Who is right and who is wrong? Should Djokovic play tennis or be sent home? Castle’s agency is useless.

Does not provide any legal opinion in connection with the dispute

In other words, it has no resolution ability or power. It decides nothing. Castle’s agency is useless.

Is not there to take a detailed account or sworn witness statement about your complaint.

What on earth does it do then? The Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service doesn’t want to hear what happened but will resolve your problem anyway. Olivia don’t tell us you were paid $20,000 to lie to an investigation. Oh, and your friend who spent the night with her coach, we don’t want to hear from her either. Now how can we help? Castle’s agency is useless.   

Is not there to assess or comment on the strength or weakness of a complaint or the evidence in support of it.

So Olivia Podmore would have been told that $20,000 was not something Castle’s agency could discuss. Please don’t tell us about wandering, nocturnal games or cheating at the Olympics. We told you commenting on any of that was not our job. Castle’s agency is useless.

And so, what does the Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service do? Well Castle’s advertisements help us there as well.   

The team will provide you with general information about the facilitated resolution services and avenues available to you under the Service. 

Oh, I’m sure that is just what Djokovic, Podmore, Thompson and I needed – to hear all about Raelene’s Sport and Recreation Complaints and Mediation Service. Like that really is going to solve our problems. Castle’s agency is useless.